Services

I work with clients to find their authentic self – to be real – in relationship, first with themselves and then with others in order to live the most sexually and emotionally fulfilling life possible!

My approach to coaching is one of complete deshamification. Whoever you are, whatever you’re struggling with, all of your feelings and non-feelings, EVERYTHING is welcome. I will listen to you, I will believe you and I will work with you to find your true authentic self and move toward the life and real love that you desire.

I believe that we all have vulnerabilities, places of hurt inside of us, and that much of our suffering in everyday life and in sex and relationships is related to those places of hurt – our younger selves, the ones who were not met completely and did not feel held and cared for the way they may have wanted. We will work with those vulnerabilities as well as your adult self to be competent, empowered, loved, full of desire and capable of experiencing pleasure in each moment.

I will support you to take steps on your journey, some small, some big, towards your own happiness, towards fulfillment in life and relationships and in your sexual self.

I am trained in the SomaticaⓇ Method of Sex and Relationship Coaching.  What makes Sex and Relationship coaching different from Sex Therapy or traditional talk therapy is that it is an experiential, embodied approach to learning about and practicing relationship skills. These skills can be verbal, physical, energetic or emotional.  They are all important and what we work on will be dependent on the client’s current struggles, goals, capacities and desires.  Working with a Somatica coach is like being in a ‘relationship lab’ where you are actually practicing being in relationship with your coach.  You then take these skills and practice in the low risk relationships in your life (family, friends, long time loves), so that you get good at them and are ready to use them in high risk romantic relationships. You will have opportunities to practice skills around emotional regulation and taking care of yourself when you are triggered, knowing how to be there for others when triggered, figuring out and communicating what you want as well as boundaries, understanding yourself and what you need to feel safe and to trust – as well as how to talk to others about their needs, knowing what you want sexually and the context in which you will be turned on and how to communicate better about that, how to deal with disappointment and how to have effective repair conversations and anything else that comes up in our time together.

The possibilities for personal growth in the areas of sex and relationship are endless and vast when working with a coach.  While this is not a comprehensive list, here are some of the areas I feel confident to help you explore:

​Emotional and Sexual Self Discovery

• Understanding what you require to feel safe and build trust as well as determining when, with whom and how to be vulnerable without putting your ‘stuff’ on others or seeming needy or clingy.
• Connecting with your erotic energy – your life force – as well as your confident adult self in order to make empowered decisions that are good for you today, tomorrow, next week and 10 years from now.

• Understanding your attachment style and that of others (anxious, avoidant, secure or all of the above at times) and how that impacts one’s action and/or inaction in relationship

• Feeling into and mapping your own boundaries and knowing how to lovingly share those boundaries with others

• Exploring your sexual identity in depth- Learning about your Core Erotic Theme (what you crave to ‘feel’ during sex) and your Hottest Sexual Movie (how you go about getting that feeling).

• Discovering what style of sex and relating you like best (romantic, passionate, dominant/submissive, energetic, etc.) and if you have a partner or partners, whether or not they match your style and how to work together to have a better connection and hotter sex!!

• Giving you a mini-introduction into the kink world and bdsm practices (if this is one of your interests) and a safe place to start to explore those desires

Learn Skills to be Better at Relationships

• Getting more confidence both in how you communicate verbally and how you interact emotionally as well as physically (sexual or non) with others

• Feeling into your own desire and what it is that you actually want and then ASKing for it in a sexy and/or enticing way that is attractive to others.

• Practicing consent conversations and how to continue to check in about consent to make sure everyone is an enthusiastic YES! during an experience

• Practicing different types of language and/or discovering different scenarios around romantic, passionate, dominant/submissive, energetic, or other styles of turn ons so as to grow your repertoire and ability to meet your own and others desires

• Understanding your triggers and those of others and how to handle them when they appear

• Learn about steps for repair when something goes wrong and dealing with disappointment when you don’t get what you want

Work through Challenging Issues

• Overcoming issues around low desire, painful intercourse and/or absence of orgasm

• Working through issues around body image and related fear or embarrassment.

• Finding more connection with a partner if you tend to feel disconnected (anywhere from emotional disconnection, to miscommunications to disconnected sex)

• For those who suffer from dissociation due to past trauma – how to be able to ‘be in your body’ more and still feel safe and contained.

• For transgender folks, working with body dysphoria and how to understand, work with and enjoy pleasure with a changing body and/or emotions.

Learn about Relationship Styles and What Works for You

Depending on your preference…​

• Helping you enjoy a traditional monogamous relationship and finding a beautiful balance between security (attachment) and freedom (individuation) so that both partners can get their needs met in creative ways with each others support and commitment to have mutually satisfying, interdependent (versus co-dependent) relationships that stay full of committed love (and still sexy) for the long haul.

• OR doing the same, while navigating alternative relationship styles such as:  open relationships, various flavors of polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, relationship anarchy, and etc…

I work with smart and successful women who are ready to commit to living the life of their dreams. I help them feel alive and empowered to create real love and security within themselves and be able to share that in committed, connected relationships.